“I often feel like I want to think something but I can’t find the language that coincides with the thoughts, so it remains felt, not thought. Sometimes I feel like I’m thinking in Swedish without knowing Swedish.”

—	Peter Cameron, Someday This Pain Will Be Useful to You

(i'm glad i'm not the only one who feels this)

Progress?

I hadn't heard from fam #1 in about a week. I kept getting more emails from families (some leads to setting up skype interviews and most lead to nothing) and I found myself dragging them out as long as I could before setting up interviews hoping I would get a reply from fam #1. I know She/They are super busy so I waited until the end of the week to send one back saying basically, "hey, whats going on? are you still interested or should I move on?" (obv. not in those words but you get the idea.)

and it was basically just She's been super busy (which I knew) and said they aren't talking to any other candidates and are still really interested in me. She said give her a week and she would draw up an offer and send me some info.

!!!!!!

I'm pretty happy right now. Crossing my fingers it works out.

A dilemma?

I'm talking with a family that I think would be a super great match. They've got everything I've been looking for. Our emails are going super slow though. The mom has told me she thinks it could be a great match and she has a good feeling about it though. So that leaves me hanging....

I've been talking with other families during the time I've been emailing with fam #1. I can't figure out if I should tell them, "hey, I'm seriously considering another family, but if that doesn't work out I'd love to talk to you more" or just not mention it and hope I don't look like I'm wasting their time if something does end up working out with fam #1.

in the last week I've seriously considered families in
-Amsterdam
-China
-Poland
-Turkey
and Italy again.

but I keep going back to fam #1 and just being all "this would be soooo freaking perfect" and just holding out hope that waiting around for more emails to come through isn't just a waste of my time.

Maybe I'm being too picky. But in the end being too picky is probably a good thing and I wont be in over my head?

“This is one more piece of advice I have for you: don’t get impatient. Even if things are so tangled up you can’t do anything, don’t get desperate or blow a fuse and start yanking on one particular thread before it’s ready to come undone. You have to figure it’s going to be a long process and that you’ll work on things slowly, one at a time.”

—	Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood

Starting to feel like I'm never going to find a match.

Ergh. I'm starting to get super frustrated.
I sent out more emails today to France, Germany and the Netherlands.
I'm starting to think it would be neat to just go to a bigger city in the US like New York or San Francisco but everyone here seems to want EU girls. womp womp.

I love the internet!

This is Castel Tures, in South Tyrol in Italy. We drove by it a few times on a trip to the mountains my first weekend in Italy. I could not for the life on me remember what it was called.... or even the name of the town or the surrounding towns. This picture randomly popped up on my tumblr dashboard the other day and omg thank you flickr for having all the info :') We drove by at night and it looks so amazing with all the lights, almost eerie.

A small update.

Since I've updated last I've talked a bit with a lovely american couple in Amsterdam. They only have one child, a new baby! If I am remembering correctly he is 3 weeks old :3 We had a Skype call a week ago and they said they had a few more people to talk to and would keep me updated. They want someone for a year! A year in Amsterdam would be pretty awesome.

I've also just started talking to a nice lady from Torino, Italy. It's not far from where I was last time. They've got two older kids (5 and 9, boy and girl) It's still early so I don't have much of a feel of them yet so we'll see what happens.

The third family I'm talking to is in the center of Rome (!!!) but has three kids under 4. I don't think it's going to go very far, the emails are very confusing. We'll see. 3 kids under 4 with what seems like not a lot of free time (the schedule looks like its all day 7 days a week, ahh) is not really something i'm interested in.